The Opinionated Foodie: The Love (or Not) of Food and Everything That Goes with It

The Pom and Mother of the Year

The Pomegranate.  Exactly what should I do with it?

My son’s class recently had a word on their vocabulary list that I thought was pomegranate.  I helped him study the list, and I remembered an interesting food word being on the list. While I was at the store without him, I saw what I thought the vocabulary word was.

I bought it all the while thinking that I was certain to win Mother of the Year.  I mean, how many kids have seen a pomegranate? I was going to send it to school with him and be the hero of the day:

“Look, kids! A real life pomegranate!” the teacher would proclaim.

“It’s a miracle!” the kids would reply in unison as they sat perfectly (especially my kid) in their short little school desks.

I was bound for glory.

I took the pomegranate home expecting to be flogged with hugs and kisses from my son for being such an awesome mom.

In reality, he said, “That’s great.  The word, though, was persimmon.”


So now I have a pomegranate that I have no clue what to do with, and no glory for my skills as a mom.

That’s life.


Schweddy Balls: My Goal for the Weekend

My goal for the weekend? I must find and enjoy a container of the new Ben and Jerry’s flavor Schweddy Balls.

I remember watching the skit that inspired the name on SNL. It was roll on the floor funny. Sure, it is so crude and suggestive.

It also was and still is hilarious.

I just read an article about the uprising against Ben and Jerry’s. The fact that people are so upset about the name and believe it will harm their children only makes me more determined to find it and buy at least one container of the ice cream.

Maybe more.

Really, people. Do you hide the chicken breasts from your kids? What about the Ding Dongs? Cheese Balls? I could go on, but you get the point.

Oh, but don’t worry. I won’t share my ice cream with my kids. Oh no, I wouldn’t want them to scarred for life due to the crude name of this new ice cream flavor.

I’ll insist on eating all the ice cream all by myself to “protect” them.

Let the hunt for the Schweddy Balls begin!

UPDATE-I have checked at three places-no ice cream.  I even asked at Kroger, and the guy knew what I was talking about but looked at me like I was crazy or something.  Imagine.

I shall not give up, however.  I will find this ice cream!

What I Was Craving Today
October 21, 2011, 12:05 am
Filed under: Food Made by Others | Tags: , ,

Questions After Watching The Pioneer Woman Episodes Three and Four
September 26, 2011, 1:51 pm
Filed under: Random Thoughts | Tags: , , , ,

Why do I like Ladd better than Ree? He was so uncomfortable looking in the first two episodes, but he seems to be loosening up.  She is still slightly awkward at times.

Why is Ladd on camera so much? His picture was barely in the cookbook and wasn’t in the memoir at all.  I thought he and the kids were hidden on purpose.  Now, he is talking and cooking.  He is like a co-star. 

Why does she have so many groceries at the Lodge when they live somewhere else?  The refrigerator was full. 

When exactly is this show a cooking show? She doesn’t tell us measurements or even spend that much time in the kitchen.  Watching her paint a fence won’t help me decide what to make for dinner tonight. 

How in the world can she cook for six people in only one skillet? 

What is the Farm? Their house? Why were they four hours apart in episode three?

Do their kids have to work so much? Child-labor laws, anyone?

Why did Ladd’s steaks look so much better than Ree’s fig pizza?  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Is Ladd not the “Marlboro Man” anymore? Suddenly, Ladd and all the kids have names. 

Did you see the size of that grocery store?  Tiny. 

Finally, why do I not love this show? I love The Pioneer Woman, I really do.  I like her recipes, and her blog is amazing.  She deserves all the success she is getting.  This show, though, is not hitting me in the right spot.  When I watch, I don’t learn a thing about cooking, but I learn a lot about her.  When I watch a cooking show, I want to learn how to cook something.  I feel like her show belongs on the Biography Channel. 

Again, cook, Ree.  Cook.


Two All Beef Patties, Special Sauce, blah, blah, blah

Sometimes, even those of us who can cook (or can pretend to cook) go through the drive-thru. No shame in it. Heck, I bet even Paula Deen herself goes to Taco Bell. There is just something so fun about telling somebody exactly what you feel like eating and then getting it without even leaving the car. Awesome.

Today, we went to the Golden Arches for lunch. My kids were awarded free Happy Meals for reading over one hundred books through our library’s summer reading program. That’s right. One hundred books. I am one proud momma.

Someone asked me, though, if I felt weird about it. “With the obesity we have in America, aren’t you worried about feeding your kids through a window and rewarding them with food?”

Nope. Not in the least.

As we pulled away from the window, I remarked to my two in the backseat that their Happy Meals might taste a little different.

“Why?” One asked.

“Because you earned it.”

We then drove to the pool where they swam furiously for two hours.

For the time being, I am not worried about obesity in my children. They are active, smart people, and food makes them happy. Likewise, I am happy when I feed them something, and they eat the whole thing. We’re far from perfect, but we are pretty happy. That counts for a lot.

Food equals love equals happiness equals fun in my book. I want my two to continue to have all those things. So, no, over-protective-rice cake-eating friend, I don’t feel bad about it.

Not in the least.

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