The Opinionated Foodie: The Love (or Not) of Food and Everything That Goes with It

An Open Letter to Arby’s
July 20, 2011, 11:36 pm
Filed under: Food Made by Others | Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Arby’s:

Recently, I got to leave the house. By myself. I know-Exciting! Not that I am complaining, but this rarely happens. I usually have at least one person with me at all times.

But Saturday-ah, Saturday-I managed to find myself alone and hungry. So, I proceeded to your drive-thru. My mission was to get my favorite fast food sandwich of all fast food sandwiches-your Italian sub. I dream of this sandwich, but I don’t get to eat it much since my kiddos prefer other places over you. Nothing personal.

This was my chance.

I pulled up to your large, bright menu full of various sandwiches. I looked. Alas, no Italian sub. I asked the kind lady in the crackly speaker if it is gone. Of course it was. My favorite sandwich which I had been looking so forward to-gone. Tragedy.

I should have seen that coming.

I still had to eat and I didn’t imagine the crackly lady was going to fix me an Italian sub to be nice, so I ordered something else. I should have just driven off.

I got this:

Lunch. Yuck.

It was some sort of mushroom/Swiss/mayo/fried stuff sandwich. I am not sure exactly what it was called, but I will be avoiding it in the future. The mayo was weird in a soupy way, and the fried things (onions, maybe?) were too greasy and spicy in a weird way. I am getting grossed out just thinking about it.

Welp, Arby’s, you ruined my all-by-myself lunch and took away a sandwich that actually made me happy. My agnst toward you is worse that a dumped teenager on prom night.

Does any of this matter in this torn-up, mixed-up world we live in? To my taste buds, yes it does. Way to go.


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